Release Date: March 22, 2002
Watch Date: September 4, 2023
“After searching for an old friend, Blade forms an alliance with his adversaries to fight a deadlier threat that threatens both vampires and humankind.”
This film is awful. It’s total, utter, pointless, violent plot holes. It’s dark scenes where you can’t tell what’s happening. It’s overdramatized edge lords. It’s gore. It’s terrible CGI that can’t have looked good even in the early 2000s.
It is so much fun.
It is fun in the way that ‘Sharknado’ is fun. It is fun in the way that sometime movies are so awful they’re good and you have much more fun riffing them and watching the terrible parts over and over again. It is probably one of the dumbest movies I’ve ever watched and Bob and I had some of the most fun we’ve ever had in this marathon watching it.
We did have to wait until an evening when our kids were out of the house, thank you Labor Day for free grandparents who are willing to babysit, because Bob, whose father introduced him to this film way too early in life told me that it had given him nightmares as a child and wasn’t appropriate for our children, even if it was on in the background while they were distracted by something else. Our toddler is going through a phase where all dark rooms made hold monsters and our son, who goes into kindergarten tomorrow, is in a hyper clingy phase where being alone for even two seconds scares him, so this was probably a good call on his behalf, even if it meant we weren’t able to watch a film until someone was available to watch the kids.
We made so much fun of this movie. From the terrible dancing at the raves, to constant lack of any emotion from our titular character, the overdone fight scenes, the romance that wasn’t quite a romance, the way everything causes blood, the way the vampire lair just has random blood pools on the floor. I can’t even count the amount of times we had to pause, rewind, and re-watch ten seconds of this film just to laugh at it. I could not possibly express to you how much fun you will have with this film if you’re someone who likes to riff on movies. If you only like ‘good’ cinema, you’re going to have a much harder time with it.
The best part, hands down, was when one of my favorite actors of all time appearing in the film, Cat, or I guess as other people might know him, Danny John-Jules, from one of my all time favorite television shows, ‘Red Dwarf’. It’s a British comedy series that ran for a few years starting in the late 80s and then picked up again and releases a new season every once and awhile, and one movie. It’s a classic sci-fi show with tons of laughs, and an extremely strong cast, and it’s much, much better than Blade but I didn’t know that more than one of the actors had ever gone on to star in anything else and this whole movie was redeemed in my eyes the moment he showed up on screen – and trust me, I was dreading this film. About five minutes in I had already turned to Bob and said; “So this is the next two hours of our lives, huh?”.
Like I said earlier, if you try to only watch ‘good’ movies, don’t watch this one. But then again, don’t watch any Marvel movie really. They’re action filled popcorn eating romps, not classics. This one just happens to be an extra bad Marvel movie. But that doesn’t stop a film from being fun. And a little fun never killed you. Unless you’re a vampire at one of the many raves in the Blade universe, that might kill you, if Blade turns up.
Doc and Bob's Disney Adventure 
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