Haunted Mansion

Release Date: July 28, 2023

Watch Date: October 7 – October 8, 2023

“In this frighteningly fun adventure inspired by the classic theme park attraction, a doctor and her nine-year-old son, looking to start a new life, move into a strangely affordable mansion in New Orleans, only to discover that the place is much more than they bargained for. Desperate for help, they enlist a motley crew of so-called spiritual experts to help rid their home of supernatural squatters, including a priest, a widowed scientist-turned failed-paranormal expert, a French Quarter psychic, and a crotchety professor.”

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    I thought that this was a much more grown up version of the Haunted Mansion. Something that felt more adult, more cohesive, and dealt with darker themes.

    Bob thought that was a kind of goofy kids movie that relied a lot more on visual effects to cause fear.

    The thing we could agree on was that the villain, The Hatbox Ghost, was infinitely more intimidating than Ramsley the butler. Which is annoying, I hate to compliment Jared Leto. I mean, he’s literally unrecognizable. But still. It feels wrong. The Hatbox Ghost is a good villain. He’s got just the right amount of threatening, with a legitimate reason to be evil. And none of it had to do with race, but almost exclusively with societal class and poor parenting, so that feels a little better too.

    The mansion itself feels more populated, with a much bigger cast and many more ghosts, and the reason for the 999 happy haunts makes sense. I loved the little tributes, the stretching room, the portraits, the dueling brothers, the faces, it’s all very good.

    I also particularly enjoyed the fact that this doesn’t all take place in one night and that no one is actually trapped within the mansion. It gives the living characters more time to play and develop connections, and since those characters are varied and interesting, it only benefits the movie. It also makes it feel like there’s a much bigger mystery to be solved instead of just “save my wife,” which I appreciate.

    Bob’s major gripe was about the ghost camera. Let me explain. The main reason our main character, Ben, even ends up at this mansion is the fact that he has invented a camera that can take pictures of ghosts. He makes it out to be a major, defining thing in his life due to events I won’t go into. And they do use it. But barely. Then it’s broken, and he doesn’t seem particularly distraught, and he never tries to repair it, and the other cameras he has set up around the house with similar technology are never mentioned again. You could make the argument that the ghost activity is increasing, so obviously, they don’t need video to see what they’re up to but…I don’t know. It feels like it needed to be more explicitly stated.

    All the living characters are also always forced to return and sleep in the mansion. They stay in one room because there is significantly less activity that occurs there. It’s never explained why, and it’s never really adressed other than “This is a safe space.” Which… sure they have a lot going on and maybe “Why don’t the ghosts come in here?” might not be a top priority, but if I was trying to get ghosts to stop haunting me or making the place more liveable, I’d want to know why one room was fine and the others weren’t.

    All in all, this movie gave me nightmares and made me still want to watch it again. Make of that what you will, which is to say, it is pretty darn fantastic, especially if you love the ride it’s based off.