Speed

Release Date: June 10, 1994

Watch Date: July 28, 2024

“Keanu Reeves, Sandra Bullock and Dennis Hopper star in this pulse-pounding thriller filled with breathtaking stunts and unexpected romance. Jack Traven (Reeves) is an L.A. cop sent to diffuse a bomb planted on a bus by a vengeful extortionist (Dennis Hopper). Not only that, but Jack and a passenger (Bullock) must blast the bus through city streets at more than 50 MPH or the bomb will explode!”

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   Let me be the first to say, I was 1000% not expecting this pick.

   I had been prepared, all weekend, for “Chang Can Dunk” and I don’t know why Bob changed at the last minute, but he did, and suddenly instead of an inspirational film about a “short person” (someone still basically 7 inches taller than me) dunking, we got one of the quintessential 90s action movies.

   Now, I don’t know about you, but I had never seen “Speed” before. I have, however; seen enough parodies of this film that I had a pretty good grasp on what was going to happen. There’s a bomb, on a bus, they must go at a certain speed, road blocks and roads no longer existing were going to occur and then, eventually, we’d end up on a cruise ship doing the exact same thing. (Yes, yes, I know that’s the sequel – but everyone knows that even the sequel went a little too far over the top with the premise.) So I felt, genuinely, like I had seen the film before we watched it, and having now seen the film, I still feel like last night wasn’t my first time watching it.

   I did not expect quite so many bomb threats. I thought the whole thing took place on a bus – the entire length of the movie. I didn’t realize we’d be rescuing people from an elevator (leading to an incredibly boring intro sequence I feel compelled to add), and I definitely didn’t realize we’d be jumping an underground train (much less successfully than the bus).

   I thought the villain was pretty good though. He was intimidating, just crazy enough to be scared about what he’d do next, but not crazy enough to not be intimidating. I like Jack’s partner, even though I know what happens to every straight-laced partner in a 90s action movie, despite myself I found that he played the role of ‘guy who is good at his job but who deals with a partner who will climb down an elevator shaft without warning anyone else’ pretty well.

   I did not like the romance. The moment Annie was introduced I looked at Bob and said, how are they going to make a natural romance occur during a bomb threat while driving? They didn’t. Like Annie said, they’ll base their relationship on sex, and I have to believe – despite knowing about the sequel – that’s what they did until everything fizzled out. Sure, Jack is charming, but he’s also trying to keep a hostage calm in a hostage situation and encourage her to, I dunno, not slow down or crash the bus since she is primarily the person responsible for keeping everyone else on the bus alive. It feels a little disingenuous that a cop that’s good at his job would then make out with her at the scene of the crime a few hours later. She’s a victim. She’s traumatized. Get her therapy, don’t dick her down!

   But I suppose it wouldn’t be 90s action film without the male lead saving the female one and them ending up rolling around on the floor together while dirty and cut up now would it?

   The hardest part, for me, as a Canadian, was actually the speed. Based on the speedometer, 50MPH actually looks quite fast, but 50KMH is what I just use for city driving. So I guess it was hard for my brain to think of it as fast, I feel like I’d be more concerned about stop lights than people driving slower than me? But Bob assures 50 is not a normal city driving speed, and having literally no experience driving in America, I’ll have to trust him.

   Look this film was cheesy, and predictable, and the concept is ridiculous. But there’s also a reason I’ve seen a thousand parodies of it. It’s classic. It’s fun. It continued to cement Keanu Reeves as an action star. Is it one of the best films ever? No. But if you’re going into an action film from the 90s hoping for that, you’re always going to be disappointed. If, instead, you’re looking for over the top threats, a lot of explosions, guns being shot, and bulky men in tank tops with friends that reference their retirement, you’re going to have a much better time.