Elektra

Release Date: January 14, 2005

Watch Date: August 7, 2024

“Based on the popular Marvel comic book, this action-packed saga stars Jennifer Garner as Elektra, a warrior-assassin who fights the ultimate battle between good and evil.”

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   Elektra is a movie.

   It exists.

   I don’t know what happened in it. I don’t know who the villain was…were? I don’t know what the point of “the treasure” was. I don’t know how she came back to life. I don’t understand any of it.

   Here’s what I’ve gathered:

   Elektra comes back to life. Somehow. She’s trained after she’s brought back to life. Or she’s trained before the Daredevil movie and that person brings her back? Okay. Not relevant. She’s alive. And she’s a paid assassin. And she has OCD. But like the movie version of OCD where she just likes things in specific spots. And then she’s hired to kill someone for…2. But not told who. But ‘the Hand’ also wants to kill the people she’s trying to kill. For “the treasure”. But then she bonds with them. And then she tries to save them. But then “The Hands” son who maybe killed Elektra’s mom years ago I think, takes his super powered team to kill them and collect the treasure. There’s a strong guy, a poison girl, the man with the world’s creepiest tattoos, and a guy who balances a coin? Which seems unfair cause Elektra has no powers. Except sometimes she seems to have super senses. Anyways, it turns out the girl is “the treasure” not because she’s like mythical in any way or magical, but she’s a martial arts prodigy. And the group Elektra is part of is the force of good and the Hand is the force of evil and they both want the prodigy on their team. Even though she was raised by the good guys. I guess she’ll automatically turn evil? And then she’s in love with the prodigy’s dad but not enough to stay with him?

   So. I’m trying not to spoil it. Because even though I don’t really understand the ending, I’m sure I’ll ruin it for someone.

   When some people die, they just die. But when other people die they turn into magic green smoke stuff? And no one seems to even care? And the tattoo guy. How? Was he born with the tattoos? If he gets the tattoos can he then make them come out of his body? If the tattoo is killed does he just have a large empty spot? How come some of his tattoos turn into realistic animals and some turn into wolves heads on rockets? Is he magic and the ink is magic?

   Then there’s the girl who is poisonous. Or she creates poison? I’m not entirely sure. She mentions that she was the the last “treasure”. So is the prodigy just something that happens every so often? And is it only treasures that can get super powers? Could that maybe be explained a little bit better? Because if
“the treasure” is just a martial arts prodigy, she certainly doesn’t use those skills…at all.

   And if the whole point of “the treasure” is that they can be taught to have super powers, why does the rest of the “Hand” seem so taken aback by the one guys group of super powered humans? Wouldn’t that be their weapon? Wouldn’t they be happy to have such a large collection of them?

   It wasn’t good. 

   Don’t pay for it like I did.