Thor: The Dark World

Release Date: November 8, 2013

Watch Date: September 5, 2025

“Marvel Studios’ Thor; The Dark World continues the adventures of Thor, the Mighty Avenger, as he battles to save Earth and all the Nine Realms from a shadowy enemy that predates the universe itself. In the aftermath of Marvel Studios’ Thor and Marvel Studios’ The Avengers, Thor fights to restore order across the cosmos…but an ancient race led by the vengeful Malekith returns to plunge the universe back into darkness. To defeat an enemy that even Odin and Asgard cannot withstand, Thor sets out on his most dangerous and personal journey yet, forced into an alliance with the treacherous Loki to save no only his people and those he loves…but our universe itself.”

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So I’m having a fight with customer service for a certain incredibly popular online shopping service, and I’m online anyways so why not risk my wrist while we’re here? I’m nothing if not a multitasker.

Look, I think Thor ends up with one of the best character arcs of the original MCU arc, the Infinity Saga? I used to know what it was called. And I think that this film is actually kind of integral in establishing that arc. It sets up a lot of pieces that makes Thor…well…the Thor of the later stages of the MCU. But this movie setting it up? It’s boring.

I don’t really like Natalie Portman. I’m sorry. I said it. Maybe there’s a movie where she really pops on the screen but I haven’t seen it yet. I wish I had. I always think she’s Kiera Knightley and I get really excited. But it never is. I’m sure she is someone’s cup of tea, but it’s not mine.

I don’t think the lab assistant is used to her full potential. Or the lab assistants assistant. I think there’s too many characters from Asgard that aren’t fully explored, just like in the first movies, I don’t know who they are, and they even remove one quite quickly. I do enjoy that we spend more time in Asgard, and I do think that the way Loki and Thor’s relationship heats up feels very natural and is clearly indicative of the direction they planned on taking the two characters. I understand why the Professor is dealing with some mental health issues, based on previous experiences, but those mental health issues don’t seem to make a lot of sense, he could probably have expressed to SHIELD what was going on and they probably would have listened, and he doesn’t seem ‘crazy’ like they want him to be half the time.

The villain is not intimidating, and actually not comprehensible, even when he is speaking English. Also, okay, so they existed before the universe? Or at the beginning of the universe? And now they want to…depopulate the universe? Or…end it? It’s not really very clear. And I’d like to be clear. Also I’m not really sure what the big red cloud thing is or what it’s supposed to do or just exactly how it’s meant to destroy the world, since the lining up of the realms seems to be doing that fine on it’s own without any help from the big swirling red cloud…

I don’t know. This is a dark, boring movie. I’m ready for better and brighter things.